Being there to help v going dark:balance

[Surfer]

Worked from home today. WAW (who walked 9 days ago) popped in to pick things up with D8. D8 came to say hello as did WAW (I resisted temptation to go find WAW). Went in to say goodbye when they went though - perhaps a mistake but wanted to give D8 a reassuring cuddle. Anyway WAW was looking stressed and emotional (victim like). I resisted saying are you okay etc or acknowledge her state of mind. Was going to offer to go and watch the kids swimming with her but resisted the temptation.

Tricky it's hard to decipher what you are really doing to see the kids and what you are really doing to be near WAW - also you can trick yourself that it is for the kids when at times it is not really true and sometimes you are doing things for both or just to see WAW.

Anyway I digress, yesterday WAW visited to drop things for kids sleepover. All pleasant but when she went she said 'I guess that's no talking again' then tried to push into dangerous territory - acussatory stuff but I validated and steared her back into safe water.

I feel I am still allowing myself to be near her too often (I will see her when she drops the kids for the school run tomorrow) and whilst I ignore the victim like approaches (due to well trodden drama triangle consequences) and validate and close down difficult discussions, I would appreciate some thoughts here. Should I perhaps be around less?

Seeing her every day for the school run etc is this right? D8, S6 will be at my home (family house) tomorrow pm as WAW wants access for piano lesson for D6. Should I just do the school run then not be around at all as being around - even though we are getting on might not be allowing her enough space.......any thoughts greatly appreciated.

In short am I kidding myself - am I still being too available?