Infidelity/WAH, my story pt 2

[PsySara]

WH is back to his nasty/blame shifting self. Last night his phone woke me (his mom was calling at midnight, sheesh!) and I asked him a few questions about the Affair. I found out that OW bought him a burner phone (a few days after she had sent me a text apologizing to me and my children and saying she was going NC with WH) and that's how they communicated. WH quickly shut down and refused to answer any more questions because, "I can't trust you anymore SS, I don't know what you will do. You hurt me worse than I hurt you." The ball of rage I felt at that moment was suffocating. My impulse was to ask him if he was crazy, that the month long cheating during April was more than disrespect, that it was evil. But I simply asked him if he thought his actions hurt me, he said yes but then demanded if I hurt him. I said yes. I asked him if the "wrongs" were equal, he said the cheating was worse but then said, "But the stuff you did before was way worse." My response "???????" He then became more irritable and said I should schedule our talks. So I said, "How about 1 hour a night after the kids are in bed?" He agreed and then he went to sleep. I went down stairs and spent an hour online numbly scrolling through posts here.

The emotional roller coaster still dips and shoots up. One minute I think there is absolutely nothing salvageable in a marriage where the cheater feels entitled and remorseless. The next minute I think maybe the guy I married will find his way back and remember what my worth is. Sigh.

Tonight I plan on going bowling with co-workers and coming home late. I came home after 7 last night and the kids weren't bathed yet or any of their school stuff done. So I did that, hopefully WH will manage to square stuff today. Any suggestions, 2x4s or words of encouragement are welcome.