I didn't have an epiphany. I was, at best, a very reluctant partner. We argued more in those 2 years than in the 25 that proceeded it. As those 2 years progressed, what NOP made clear was *this issue was not going to go away*.
That's precisely what depresses the hell out of me.
Why? The ongoing conflict? There was no way that we were going to clear out a decade and more of the detritus that had accummulated in our marriage. There absolutely wasn't going to be a couple of nice, peaceful conversations that were going to get us where we needed to go. There wasn't going to be a single incident of temporary emotional connection that was going to fuel our journey out of the pit in which we found ourselves.
Choc, it's not going to happen that easy.
Quote: I can't speak for everyone else, for speaking for myself (and for CeMar's sitch, which started this whole latest back-and-forth), I'm not looking for a "natural-born" LD to come out of her shell. I'm looking for a woman who was always HD (more than me, actually), to come back to me. I know she's in there, so I really don't feel like I'm asking her to be something that she's not, kwim? But I do, more broadly, understand your point here.
You must realize that people change. Women's sexual drives can peter out. Almost all women have that first couple of years in the relationship thing, where their drives are higher. This also explains why LD women can leave a sexually unhappy relationship and go great guns sexually in a new one. (See Mariposa's posts) A true HD woman is going to want to be sexual even if the relationship isn't all hunky-dorry.
At what point in your marriage did your wife's sex drive disappear? Did she initiate more than you did?
