The Unpleasantness

[qt4x11]

Take daughter to school this morning, come home and have a work phone meeting and an hour phone call with my DR coach. I tell her everything I’ve written in this thread over the past week and she agrees that I have been doing great especially given everything that has happened after the filing. DR coach’s advice is

-focus on improving our friendship, continue to be relaxed respectful and cheerful around wife, exercise self control
-don’t make the situation work with pursuing behaviors
-make your kids the first priority
-be consistent in your efforts
-focus on small steps

She agrees that I’ve actually made some real progress. Our conversation is very friendly and relaxed now. She no longer avoids seeing me in person, and when we see each other in person she no longer appears extremely mad at me. It seems we are on friendly terms again. There are little things happening that seem like I am gaining her trust. She asks me to run extra errands for her. She has given me the garage door opener.

Back at work today, trying to stay focused. Worked out. Meditated. Made it to a 12 step meeting. Going to do a little more work tonight, then have dinner and watch Sherlock with my brother. Feeling a little better emotionally, was able to keep it light and relaxed around wife today during face to face interactions - but later on started feeling down again at my situation. Started browsing divorce message boards, reddit, this board I’m going to try to limit the amount of surfing for divorce forums going forwards - it just tends to make me depressed in general. Going to get my guitar back soon, when I do I’ll try to play guitar instead of wallowing in self pity.