I think a drink with cute guy would trump a divorce group! Understand what you're saying though. You never know, you might not get on with him outside the workplace. I'm not going to pretend I know what an 'orthodontic retainer' is (best guess - a brace?),but I hope it's not painful. I think my dentist is a left over from the third reich (I'm sure she loves to make my gums bleed).
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
Just think about you today and hoping that you are feeling better and things are getting resolved without too much headache.
It is all so easy sometimes and we can even taste the peace inside our hearts and then it is so hard and painful we drop to our knees and cry or want to scream so loud it would place us in some crazy people house.
Time will heal our hearts and show us a different path, hopefully we did enough work on ourselves that things can be joyful next time, if it happen.
You are lovely Sotto, and gorgeous too. I am sure nice guy have his fear too since he was also left behind. I guess slow is the best way of building a strong friendship and if the two of you want to try, it can be the best R you ever dreamed about.
Thanks for visiting Esame, Huddy and Pink - I appreciate your support xx
Pink, yes I feel slow is the right way for me. When I think back to XH, ours was fast and there were things I wasn't that comfortable with and I struggled to look after myself in the whole situation. Got very much swept along. I see more of a friendship that could turn into romance at some point as the way to go.
Well, it's been a busy few days for me - worked away Mon & Tues and then a business trip with colleagues yesterday and only got back at 9pm. Been looking after two sweet little doggies for a friend today and out with my divorce chums this evening. I hot-desked next to NG this week and we compared house notes - I showed him my details and he thought it looked like a nice place. He's looking great these days.....his new wardrobe really works for him - I've been a little too shy to say, but I may do next time I see him.
Progress on the house front. Survey on mine tomorrow and buyers pressing for paperwork and hoping for completion in July on the marital home. Still not really missing XH and not thinking about him in a fond way - feeling we are very much done. I'd like to get to a place of feeling a little more compassion - but right now, I just feel meh about him. I'll keep working on that.
Any ways - hope everyone's having a good week & take care xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
I always get this good feeling of hope every time I read your posts. Your life seems to always get resolved somehow.
From ups and downs and happy days, not so happy days, I see you manage to move forward with a lot of grace. It is amazing how far you have come and how well you managed your life.
I am very proud of you and for sure think about it many times in order to move my life into a less stressful game plan.
All the struggles resolving issues with the MH and the stuff inside were hard on you, but it was once more big rock on the way you dealt with that the way you could best.
Your XH is a big idiot, actually I can find some other adjectives to him but unfortunately I can't post here. He pretends to move on and not look into his own flaws and it will just blow in his face again. Shame on him for not wanting to be a strong and good person for himself and for others, but sometimes people love the new and don't see the real value of the old.
In ways you may well be better off without him and time will tell what kind of atrocities he will do next.
I am very happy you are sassy about your new life, you seem like fresh and free and it is very attractive. Hugs, hugs and more hugs to my friend. You are an amazing woman that have been dealing with so much and yet managed to be amazing.
Pink, thanks so much for your thoughtful post. You are very kind to say those things and you are right that I may well be better off without XH going forwards. Someone posted somewhere else on the forum - I loved the person I married but not who they have become. I can honestly say that if I was meeting XH from scratch now with his current history, I wouldn't be attracted to him.
Good couple of days for me. The survey on the house I'm buying went well. The surveyor is happy with the value and there are some minor maintenance jobs. He mentioned the great location and that it should never be hard to sell a nice property in this location. Can't recall if I said, but I went to school with the surveyor (haven't seen him for 30 years.) He asked some stuff about my life and where I've been etc. Then told me that a bunch of guys from school keep in touch and go out regularly. He mentioned some names (and some hilarious nicknames too) some of whom I remember. If I get an invite I may go along and catch up with one or two old faces.
Spent the day Mum-sitting and had a nice gentle time. We had the music on and she was humming along, the sun was shining and all felt well with the world.
Fathers Day tomorrow, so will be calling over to see them again with some lunch. Hope everyone is having a lovely weekend. Xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Oh, and I forgot to say - I called into the rental agents today and found out that I need to get my notice in next week if I want the rental to finish before the end of July. So, the letter is now done and I'll post it through tomorrow. Worst case scenario, things get delayed and my stuff has to go into storage while I stay with my parents for a week or two - wouldn't be the end of the world.
So, it looks as though I'll be on the move soon....
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
As for telling someone they look good, I would if genuine.
I love to hear I look ok and pass, according xh2 I never did, and he made sure he told me I looked bad at times. He believed in constructive criticism. Stupid really.
Bwwwhhahhah his loss.
If you have good memories of school and mates then go. I didn't have a really fun time at school and hated being teased and harassed by the other kids. Most never had time for me at school nor after so I really am not overly bothered by them.
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
Thanks GG, I will compliment him next time I think that - and yes I my well go and meet some old school mates if I get an invite.
Just watched a lovely TED talk by Louie Schwartzberg and would recommend it - on gratitude, nature and beauty - lovely inspirational talk and just 10 minutes.
xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
House stuff trundling along and I hope to be in by end July. Not much liaison with XH, but that suits me TBH. He's clearing stuff out of the MH next couple of weeks. Been busy at work and had to miss a couple of yoga & salsa sessions. Went out last night and had a nice time - ladies group dinner. Also hosting a book group at mine later (new divorce group thing...) and seeing a couple of friends Sunday.
Saw nice guy yesterday and had some good chats. My close colleague is keen to fix us up and I have to rein her in. I notice I'm much more confident with social interactions than I was when I first met XH - so that's a good thing. Sat next to a woman last night who has an every other weekend R with a guy, which seems to suit her just fine. I figure I'm approaching 50, so I can do what I like now!!
SS's birthday this week, and so sent him a parcel. Have had a few people tell me how great I'm looking lately. My boss said I look 10 years younger than when he first saw me after BD. Another woman (I see her every few months) told me I look better each time she sees me. So I guess something is agreeing with me
I still feel pretty 'meh' about XH in a door closed kind of way. Tho part of me would kind of like him to regret things. But then that would be a dilemma and I don't really wish him unhappiness etc...
Starting to organise myself for the move....clearing out. Need to have a look at utilities and so on. My boss is trying to talk me into a more senior role, which is a compliment (not sure I feel that confident about it though!)
So, all good I guess and thanks for reading xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
