Mleigh - Like my h, I think your h also has a very unrealistic expectation of marriage w/a child and really, life itself. Geez, the two of them sound like clones of Eeyore.
Raising kids is hard work. It takes time and energy. Some couples do manage to grow closer in those years. Personally, I think they do so by understanding that there is some "couple" sacrifice that has to take place to raise kids. Certain things have to be put on a back burner for a later date.
You can see all the negatives in it, which it sounds like your h certainly does, or you can say: it wasn't always easy, but it was worth it.
I think his comment about the cruise is really immature. Maybe you should dig in your heels and mope: "I wanted to rest and you were by the pool!" It's just babyish.
As for his comment that he felt used as a baby machine, well, there too, it was a certain reality. Sometimes life doesn't go exactly to plan and you just have to do what you have to do. I am sure that all was not your top choice, either. But, he can see all the negativity or he could say: "thank goodness we were able to have a child and thank goodness he is healthy." Not everyone is so fortunate. Many people go through that exact process (or worse) for years and years and cannot conceive.
When is the last time you heard him say anything positive? And did he say one positive thing in your conversation with him?
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
