Being there to help v going dark:balance

[Surfer]

This is my first post.

WAW walked with kids 8 days ago. Been the pursuer but now know not to do anything like that. Still have weak times but getting lots better.

In terms of 'going dark' - what do I do about the kids? Not got custody formalised so its as and when my wife says "do you want to see them" at the moment. We will formalise things soon so I am presuming just go with it for now rather than not 'being there' to have them. i.e. Just be pleasant and go with it rather than thinking I am not going to be available to do that as it is making your life easier?

WAW drops them each morning at our our home (where I live) and I take them to school. It gives me chance to bond with the kids (S6 D8). I am pleasant but don't try not to talk too much with W. Did wonder whether saying I am too busy to take kids would be wise but that might mean we don't get Dad time. Also it feels 'mean' rather than 'detached' as I would be doing it so she has to deal with it herself.

Sorry if this looks like I am asking should I be mean to my WAW - that is not what I am asking. What I am wanting reassurance on is am I following a sensible path in terms of being available for the kids (and her) like this? There is a fine line with being there to help with children and the need to be less available for your WAW when detaching. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you.