I agree w/Sotto. He's still not looked within and realized that he had choices and yes, he could have stepped up to the plate at any time during your marriage and said "I'm not happy, you treat me like the invisible man". He never did that. This conversation was all about him and how he felt. It doesn't sound like you were able to express all that you needed to express and yes, he's still living in the past. He's stuck just a bit. He'll have some time to digest the conversation, but until he "owns" up to his half of the demise of the marriage, it will be difficult to move forward to a new one, i.e., he's expecting you to change and what about his changes? Did he volunteer to work on himself and make changes for the better?
I think dating might shine a light on your situation a bit better. You both will be going out into the world to "neutral" grounds and then you both can decide how best to move forward...but it's going to take few dates to figure out how best to move forward.
I think you've learned a lot about him and where he's at currently...still in the past and can't seem to move forward. People do change and they need to be given the opportunity to move forward and shine, i.e., just like you've been doing. Let me leave you with this question....has he changed for the better or is he the same old h? Some people remain unchanged because they like staying in the rut and don't see or want to put forth the effort to change and be happy, i.e., they choose to remain unhappy and complain about it until the day they die, i.e., they like playing the "poor me" card over and over.
Hang in there.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
