Honeypot wrote:

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Fwiw,
I believe that if I could get my H to commit to a schedule that adequately met my frequency needs, the entire problem would evaporate.





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If we were ML every day like the NOPs I think that he would relax and I'd of course be the happiest camper that ever lived and everything else would fall into place.




I'm confused. I start thinking it's about frequency, then someone else comes along and says it's about the EC. Which one is it???

As the lower drive in our R, I'm thinking I'm gonna have to boink him daily in order to make his 'numbers', but I also have to pull out all the stops to make the connection amazing! So, how to do that? Lets see... if I just go for the 'schedule' it starts feeling like 'mercy sex' and that isn't good. If I just go for the great EC but dial down on the frequency then I'm missing that as well.

That is so much to shoot for, and I am starting to wonder what you HD's really want. Do you know yourselves? Are you aiming at something that you can't even describe? Is there just no 'perfect' with your current spouse/SO?

What I really want is to make my dh happy. I'd love to love having sex, but I don't. So I either have to 'force it' for frequency, or really work for the EC. Both are tiring to me, and mutually exclusive I'm beginning to believe. Don't think I'm being antagonistic, because I'm just here trying to find a solution as well. But I'm wondering if we're all just chasing our 'tails' so to speak!

Jen