HP, I'm glad you chimed in here, because I consider you one of the success stories as well, and you have been an inspiration to me. My own sitch could also be considered a success by many too. When I came to the board last year, we were ML about once every 4-6 weeks, and there was very little EC. I was at a point where I was ready to walk out on my M; the only thing holding me back was my religious beliefs, and even those were barely restraining me.
We are now at a 2-3 times a week frequency, less than I thought I needed, but certainly much more than I had had in our previous 18 years. More importantly, the EC has grown considerably, although it has ebbed and flowed as part of the process. Is my R perfect now? No, not by any stretch, but both of us have grown considerably in the past year. I can no longer imagine a life without MrsGGB. Both of us understand each other's needs much better than we ever have, and frankly, sex has become much less important as an end...it has changed character into something we do as a celebration of all that we are rather than just me getting my rocks off and her wanting it to be over. She initiates at least once every 2 weeks now.
We still have a long way to go, but things are certainly looking up. I doubt I would have been where I am now had it not been for this bb, and particularly had it not been for the support, encouragement, inspiration, and kicks in the butt I got from people here, especially my friend, HP. So yes, there is hope. I am still convinced the key is open, honest communication of inner feelings. Once you can feel what your partner is feeling, it is far easier for you to meet each other's needs.
First thing you need to do, Cemar, is realize that the state of your M is as much your doing as it is your W's, and then you need to correct for what you've done to avoid nurturing the R. That's the part you can do. Until you do that, you are not likely to see improvements in your M.
