Fwiw, I believe that if I could get my H to commit to a schedule that adequately met my frequency needs, the entire problem would evaporate.
He is a 'schedule' person. He likes to do the same things every day. Spontaneity drives him crazy. He wants to know what's happening when and, more importantly, what's expected of him.
If we were ML every day like the NOPs I think that he would relax and I'd of course be the happiest camper that ever lived and everything else would fall into place.
However, that won't work in our situation so our illustration of success is going to look much different. This may be as good as it gets, but I doubt it. I feel us continually making headway on this journey. Some days we rush ahead several miles, some days we punch each other back a few hundred yards. The end result is that we are moving forward.
Also, fwiw, I believe that our problem would have been long resolved were our children older. The fact that they are so young and so dependent on us weighs heavily on us and our ability to devote the proper amount of time to the M. Right now, we are devoting oh about 15 minutes per day to each other and that is us exhausted and barely speaking at the end of the night. We do not go out alone and even spent our 10th wedding anniversary getaway with the 3 lil ones in tow.
I have high hopes for our future--which is something I did not have a year ago. I did not believe that my H had it "in him" and now I do.
