Wow. That is a very strange reaction to your BFs death, Painter.
I will say that the one hug I did get was from my father when I had my first breakdown/hyperventilating-sobbing attack two days after H left, and I was very grateful.
You know, on that note, there's another modality that I have yet to get involved with - group therapy. I don't even know how I'd get hooked up with a group, though.
H: 44, Me: 45 Married: 20 y Together: 25 y no kids Walk away: 12/15 Asked for temp separation 12/25/15 PA confirmed 3/16 (apparently neither the first, nor the last PA he has had) H filed for D 5/16