Some days are better than others

[EDF]

Thanks betterm!

Had some good days and some rough moments. I'm feeling much more confident in myself, and am finding I am doing more of my DB/GAL activities just for me. It started as more of a "what can I do to act happy in front of my wife, so she wants me back" mentality... But keeps becoming more about "what do I need to make myself happy".

Due to our mutual Martial Arts training, we've sorta had forced together time at classes four nights a week. But that will be ending soon as she had decided to stop the classes. Right now I'm focused on the training, but I plan to redouble my efforts at detaching once she's out of the classes.

I don't plan to push for a D, but I feel like we're headed that direction. I don't see her having any chance of getting over OM unless things get more serious and maybe she sees he's still just tossing her relationship scraps. Maybe then. Maybe months or a year-plus of that.

But I read the torment even the piecing LBS' are slogging through, and I find myself wondering more often whether she is worth it. The current Her certainly isn't... I'm no longer interested in simply having the old Her back, and I'm not sure she would be willing to do the work to grow into the kind of person and relationship I'm interested in now.

Trying to still "be the lighthouse", but I'm not sure she's the one I'm trying to guide into harbor anymore.