Right now, he is 2 separate people. When he goes into monster phase, you can't reason with him. He's not your husband. They make you the enemy.
I am so sorry you are going through this. Next time he tries to begin the R talk, I would listen to him and say, "Hmmm, interesting." "I've never thought of it that way." "That's something to think about." "You're right. I should (fill in the blank)". Don't feed the monster. You can never win against them.
