I always follow your posts and I too believe that you dodged a bullet. You have a gift of beautiful children and self growth and now it's time to move forward and away from something so unhealthy. Sounds like you are doing great at that.
I went to a different beach every day this weekend with my son. The waves were actually rougher then usual for the N. Shore and warmer then usual for this time of year. South shore was freezing though, but kids never care... I did think of you though.
I remembered trying to surf when I was younger. . my friend brought me out to the second set of waves and then she got called back in by the life guard because she had a boogie board without wearing flippers I think? Anyway she told me she would find someone to borrow a pair from and would be right back and she never came back! I had no idea what to do. I just stayed out there waiting for her and literally crying and then eventually just braved it back.
I never tried again, but now would like to. Are you going again?
