Lillie, We went from having sex about every six weeks, only in the middle of the night when I was dead asleep, with no words spoken and my H seeming more like a horny ghost than a real person to now having sex several times per week. THAT is a huge change. He has also ditched a lot of his religious hangups along the way and I...I...have ditched my anger. Ok, well, mostly. LOL
Quote: Please... this is the answer I am dying to know: what IN YOUR OPINION made him decide to work with you, given that you felt (as you said above) that there could be no threat(perhaps too strong a word) of your leaving.
I will answer this question as well. In my case it was my willingness to keep talking about it...keep bringing it up...keep making it an issue...NEVER let it die. There is a fine line between doing this the right way and encouraging your partner to work on the M, and going overboard and driving any desire right outta them. I came VERY close to the latter many times because I wouldn't let up. I believe that it worked only because my H is incredibly resilient (due to being an enneagram 6, and his FOO as well as being a jolly good fellow)--not because I had any finesse or sense regarding that fine line at all.
Personally, I believe you let your bf off the hook too early and too easily. These situations require a lot of hammering and yammering and, while that's unfortunate at the time, it does pay off and the need for continual fine tuning lets WAY up. The NOPs probably don't even do this anymore. They are just in the groooove, lol.
