Quote: This author equates "live with it and like it" to "live with it and actively work on the issues."
That makes more sense to me.
Quote: BUT ultimately your partner still has to be the one to change because they want to. One person changing certainly does change the dynamics of the R, but not necessarily in the direction of saving the R
Well, that's because we don't have control to guarantee the outcome.
It is quite true that changing our actions and interactions in a marriage may result in our spouse dumping out totally. There are no guarantees that what you need in a relationship will be provided by your spouse.
But it is also quite true that changing our actions and interactions will absolutely result in a change in the relationship.
I think that change can't just occur in a communication vaccuum. There was no question in my mind what NOP's issues were in the years we worked on our sexual discrepancy issues. I didn't know if I could meet them or even if I would want to try to meet them, but the status quo was no longer available as an option.
