This author equates "live with it and like it" to "live with it and actively work on the issues." IOW live with hope. Basically he's saying that "living with it and hating it" means being angry and resentful all the time, and this will ultimately get you nowhere. He says if you want to put out a fire, you don't pour gasoline on it.
What he means by "live with it and like it" isn't exactly that you LIKE the obnoxious behavior, but that you don't get hooked into getting angry about it (see above reason). That you recognize that your partner's POV is valid even if it pi$$es you off. That you GAL, refuse to fight, don't engage in destructive conversations.
BUT ultimately your partner still has to be the one to change because they want to. One person changing certainly does change the dynamics of the R, but not necessarily in the direction of saving the R.
