It just really takes time, rich. I'm finding it easier to see "my life" instead of "our life". I still get the waves and miss all of the things you spoke of. I was moving yesterday and kept finding myself touching my H on the shoulder or arm. At least he doesn't flinch any more. I look at him and we both smile and stare into each others' eyes and make jokes know one else gets and I wonder, "why don't you want me any more?". But it is getting better. I catch myself realizing that more and more. And my fear of detaching causing me to fall out of love? Well, lets just say...learning has bred understanding and compassion for his pain, that has led me to lose my anger, that has opened the door to being able to do things (GAL), and losing anger and gaining understanding has led me to love him more but with the added benefit of independence from co-dependence.
I love him more. I love me more. I love him better. I can see the beginning of letting him go because I love him. I see the benefit of being a friend again. Maybe...just maybe we can rebuild on that firmer ground. And that all brings a bit more peace.
M-51 H-54 2D-27 and 25 M-26 yrs Bombshell and IHS 7-29-15 He moved out 10-3-15 D filed 1-27-16 D final 10-27-16
