There have been others, perhaps some of the other posters on here who have a better memory than I do can recall their BB names....but I do recall seeing a few people who do occasionally still visit who have experienced success.
And as for the NOP's yes, eventually I believe they did work together....but one person got the ball rolling. One person always has to set the ball of change in motion. For me, I do view it as my responsibility to start the ball rolling....if I don't do it nothing is going to happen and I'll be stuck unhappy for the remainder of my M, why? Because my H didn't think we had a problem.
I'm not one for quoting patterns (Lil you're going to love this)...but it is often the case that one person in the SSM has a problem with the state of things.....the other person doesn't, they are perfectly content. If the other person doesn't have a problem with the state of the M....then why would they do anything to get the ball rolling, why would they be motivated to make any changes? That is why I say it is our responsibility....we (whether HD/LD) see a problem, we are unhappy with the state of our M, we need to do something about it.
The process is very hard, I certainly won't deny that, and it has many ups and downs to it, can't deny that either. But for me, I can't look to others to motivate me, I have to look within myself for that motivation. I have to remember I'm dealing with Mr.GEL, not anyone else and deal with us and our own dynamics. I have to try to tune into what Mr.GEL responds to and what he doesn't and work with that....because what others have tried may not work for us. If I look to someone who had success doing something and it doesn't work for me...that's just going to knock me down that much harder thinking "but it worked for them.".....that's why I have to motivate myself. I do that by noticing what Mr.GEL does that says he loves me (even if it's not in the way I want) and remembering that I do love him too and that we have a 2S together that loves us both and that he's an OUTSTANDING father to. Reminding myself of things like that.....motivate me to continue trying.
