There have been a couple of success stories I have seen, but those people no longer come here, or rarely visit anymore....cuz they don't need to. But I believe those successes were prompted by the person (as I recall generally the HD) doing the things many of us have mentioned that eventually did lead to the other person "getting it". Very often though the R morphs into something mutually satisfactory that has a much better EC and isn't as focused on "sex" as the HD partner intially wanted it to be. Yes, the sex is there....but probably not at the frequency the HD person initially wanted, but the EC is much better...which makes for a better R. Now, if that's not your idea of success then I don't think I could say I've seen many successes....but for me, that would be a HUGE SUCCESS!
I would be THRILLED with this, GEL, and yes -- I would consider that a HUGE success as well.
Quote: But what you said is that you want instances where they do have a success where one of the spouses got the ball rolling....The NOP's. I believe Mr.NOP's (correct me if I'm wrong guys) got the ball rolling....then eventually with work, with communication, with change on Mr.Nop's part...Mrs.Nop's eventually started making changes as well. You can see for yourself what a wonderful R they now share.
Maybe I misunderstood their history. I had thought that -- although they had each taken a "run" at this thing before, unsuccessfully -- they had decided to finally work on it TOGETHER, and they BOTH realized that there was a problem and were willing to attack it. I could be wrong.
Quote: But as you said yourself....one person has to get the ball rolling. Isn't it our responsibility as the HD spouse with the issue (afterall the other S doesn't think it's an issue) to get that ball rolling, in whatever manner it takes, if we value our M's as so many of us do?
I don't know if it's our responsibility , but I'd concede that it's probably the only way anything's going to happen. But my point is that I've see how much pain, conflict, angst and WORK this is, and yet I see no lasting successes. I am perfectly willing to endure pain, conflict, angst and to WORK at it -- I just want some motivation to do so, and see others' success.
It seems those that supposedly pulled it off -- Tim47, csw, others, and now the mighty SuperDave -- it was only a short-lived tease for them. It's demoralizing.
