Does anyone else besides me hear the static and skip of a broken record here?
CeMar, you still seem to be searching for a guarantee that something WILL work for you before you try it. NO ONE can give you that guarantee. You have got to take a goooooood look at yourself CeMar. We've all been telling you the same things.....your wife isn't ND, but you aren't attractive to her (for whatever reason). It's probably not anything physical about you that she finds unattractive either or that's keeping her at arms length from you.....it's most likely your behavior and attitude (things you have control over).
But what you seem to keep looking for is a guarantee that something is going to be a permanent solution for you if you do it. We can't give you that. There are things people have done here that have given them results, no one here can say that those results will be permanent because we don't know that they will be....there is no guarantee that they will be.
You still don't respond though to us when we ask what YOU are doing, what things you are trying. You have been on here over a year, you still give attitude, you are still focused on HER, HER, HER and what you can do to change HER not what you can do to change you (which might result in a shift in your relationship dynamics), you still don't answer our direct questions.....are you wondering why the responses to your posts are dwindling drastically? It's because you aren't listening, and I'm sure I'm not the only one getting tired of repeating myself.
Choc,
There are going to be instances where the other person doesn't become more motivated sexually or intimatly. But I guess in my mind...the other person won't be motivated until we as the HD partner do something to wake them up to the issue and motivate them. Sometimes that means making changes within ourselves, GAL, stop taking their bait, be a stronger person etc. Sometimes that means setting consequences/boundaries and holding to those so they see what's at stake. Sure some of us have had progress and then setbacks....but even in me, right now, in my state of emotional flu....I have seen progress. It's been slow, but my R isn't where it was when I first joined this board....in all fairness to my H I have seen him make efforts. Right now, I've withdrawn, true enough.....but my withdrawl is drawing him out as well.
