Thank you for the advice everyone I've been in some dark places and you guys have really helped pull me out of it.
I've looked at the Stockdale Paradox and it was a very interesting read and definitely something to bare in mind.
To give people a quick update I picked my D5 up yesterday and my W had packed nickers which we're for 2-3 year olds and she is crawling with head lice. This is not acceptable and I will be letting her know this when I drop her back off tomorrow.
