Ok, I'm going to write down the list of things I've heard her say or heard what she has said to others about why we have split up...

- Too many arguments and that they went on to long.
- Grew apart.
- Didn't trust her with regards to work colleague.
- Was distant, loss of connection.
- Not listening to her hurt.
- Controlling.
- Manipulative.
- Stopped her going out.
- Felt suffocated, empty and numb.
- Apparently I wanted rough sex (really no idea were this one comes from as she has always had control of this part of our relationship due to her history.) But it is a feeling of hers so need to list it.
- Only wanted to go to counseling when she ended it. (we had started before) why not before when we have struggled in the past.
- Our past has caught up with us. (we have had a up and down roller coaster relationship)
- Not respecting boundaries.
- Can't play with the kids the way she wants with me around.
- Didn't feel good to be around me (yet had no problem with this when still in the house)

Seems like a long list, when I look at it. I know from this list, the areas I need to work on and will continue to do so.

Sometimes I feel she is a WAW (has the lost hope that anything could change feeling) but does have the WW traits also. She definately built an inappropriate relationship with her work colleague and has no interest in working on the MR. So I do listen to Sandi a lot. I know I'm going against you Sandi with regard to the car and buying her half from her. It works out better for me as I'm basically buying a 3 year old car for 5000. I'm pretty sure she wanted to buy it from me and leave the insurance as is. However, she will have to search for her own without my help.