Tof, your sitch is pretty darn close to mine, W had turned 40 a few months before, had a close work friend of hers die at a very young age (35), and then the $hit hit the fan. We are piecing, but it's tough to be around a W who has lost that attraction...
You may want to review the first part of my sitch, lots of good advice from Sandi and Wonka.
M - 9 1/2 years 5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA 10/31/16 - We sold house 01/10/18 - D Finalized