So are the dr and db techniques going to work? I know I am going to try
I am hesitant to say, b/c so many people seem to have this concept that DBing is some type of bubble gum technique for spineless men who are afraid to stand up to their disrespectful behaving W. MWD does sound a lilttle soft in places, and personally, I think the subject of the waywardness in women is extremely important and it is not covered in the book. I just don't believe the WW and the WAW are alike. And since we see a growing number of H's with a wayward wife..........I think it should be addressed.
The biggest thing I have disagreed about is her advice to start by becoming their friend. I have never seen this work with the H being the spouse left behind, and the woman the wayward. I might see it working if the tables are turned and it is a man who is the wayward........b/c of differences in sexual dynamics. However, when the woman is wayward, she does not respect the H as a man or her husband. The very makeup of the female requires her to respect the man before she can feel desire for him. That's one of the basic differences between men & women. She has to respect him first, then the loving feelings return.
When a H tries to DB and by-passes the respect issue, he will not be successful, IMHO. She may stay in the M. She may even have sex with him. She may even be able to fool him for a while. However, she will never be truly happy and won't feel in love with him.........b/c she still holds resentment and disrespect in her heart. To me, that is not a successful M.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
