I'm not going to lie but your first post knocked me for 6, I read it and felt like I had been ambushed
Ambushing is never my goal. That is not why I stick around here. I feel the quicker the LBS has information in what works and what doesn't, the better. If I think they are sticking their heads in the sand, or just not doing anything........ I try to get their attention.
I don't think any man wants to see his W as being wayward, but if you examine the definition, it makes sense in knowing what he needs to do in his interaction with her. It is like when we have rebellious kids. We can't be their buddy and expect them to do what they are told. They are going to push our buttons. We have to show them our strength and firmness. I have seen so many kids who were the ones in charge! The rebellion has to be broken and in order to that, the parent has to be the adult in charge. I use to say my kids may not like me, but they were going to respect me. Here's the key........as long as they respect you and are obedient, then you can enjoy the closeness (friendship) in the relationship. Until then, you better get a tight grip and hang on.
Although, the WW is not a disobedient child, she acts like one. She would compete with any rebellious teenager. Just as a wayward teenager must learn to respect boundaries or suffer the consequences, so should the wayward wife. The H must have strict boundaries, and enforce them when they are dishonored. Without consequences, his boundaries are ineffective.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
