I would really suggest to stop with the snooping, either you are going to trust your W or you're not. The constant reminder to her that you are monitoring all forms of communication are just going to build a deep resentment towards you.
Why do you feel the need to read her texts? How does it help you? Every time you do you react negatively and conflict arises from it.
I cant begin to imagine what it feels like to be betrayed by an A so I don't want you to feel I am unsympathetic but in order for the forgiveness and healing to begin you have to let go of the past and commit to a new start with her or you will never give this reconciliation a real chance.
