I totally agree with CBT. She didn't lie to deceive you. I do not condone lying, but I see why she did it.
You still want her to act and particular way. You want her to act and react to situations as YOU see fit. You want her emotions to match how you feel they should be. So when she feels a certain way, she is scared to tell you.
You confided in your cousin when you were having an emotional breakdown. Perhaps this journey in trying to forgive herself for the affair and piece with you is very emotional and difficult for her and she needs to share?
And really, most friends aren't so supportive and might talk the WAS in the opposite direction. You've got someone on both of your dies here encouraging her! That's great!
perhaps in MC, discussing how she could feel safe talking with you and not lying is a good topic. Her intentions aren't to deceive you, it's to not get you so mad at her for the way she does things.
You'll get through this. It's not easy. For either of you. but she seems like she wants this to work, so she is scared of messing things up. Having an outlet in a friend is necessary. Especially for women.
