JksD, He told me I was inadequate to make him happy. He said he cared for me but did not love me, that he loves OW and misses her terribly. He was so angry, even cursed at me and yelled. All because I "betrayed" him by screaming at hims and threatening exposure again.
SS, I'm sorry you're dealing with this kind of crazy antics. We all have a lot to deal with, and everyone's 'crazy' is a little bit different from sitch to sitch... I'm with you (as others on here), to work through this together. As much as you may feel it at times, you are not alone in this battle.
I'm not usually one to critique other's actions on here... and I MAY be wrong here, but I'd suggest that "threatening" exposure of the A is not a good idea. I would not do that anymore, at all. I thought about this long and hard, read a lot about it, and found that IF you are going to expose.. DO IT, don't talk about it. There is a book out there by Dr. Harley about Surviving affairs, you'll find it if you look. It provides a great outline of, IF, you are going to expose, how to do it with the best effect possible. I'd recommend you take a look...
However, in the meantime, stick to your boundaries, even if they aren't being respected, and if he continues to break them, stand strong, dig in with your heels and find a plan of action to take for when they are broken.
I'm so sorry you're here and struggling with this. Stay strong.
