Your W's sayings really resonates with me. From what I have been told by DB coaches is that a WAS wants a vibrant life and this makes sense to me now. They will go after a target to ensure they are happy. The LBS is the one who thought things were "happy" in the current state of their M.
The sad part is that most WAS's won't see the changes in the LBS's.
First off, let me clarify, that quote is something I found throug her, but it is a quote by "Buddha" himself haha. But beside that point, it definitely SHOULD resonate with everyone who doesn't want their lives to decay into nothingness.
Unfortunately, you are right that a lot times an WAS will not notice the changes, efforts, of an LBS, and oftentimes, they will, and people will think of it as "WAS saw the changes too late, and the divorce is already final...
It was just a few days ago I was talking about the "ticking time bomb" on my marriage and how I have 60 days to turn things around. When that's not the case...
Darknes was one to point out that divorce is not the end of a relationship with someone. It's just the legal paper that says you're no longer married to <person>. It's still up to those parties involved to decide if they want to be together... and people DO get remarried to the same person they were once got divorced with. I don't know the statistics on this (if anyone does, please tell), but I know it happens. I listen to a talk radio show (Joe Beam show) who talks about this happening a lot, and he, himself, actually was a WAH, with an LBS, divorced her, and 3 years later they remarried. Said they are now happier together than they could have ever been if they would've reconciled right away...
Don't lose hope, (easier said than done), as I know I've lost hope countless times throughout this process, and when I realize it, I shift my focus of lost hope on the MR, to new-found hope on making myself the most awesome person in the world. So awesome that I can find confidence in knowing that even if my WW does follow through with D, I'll be better off as the new man I've become, with or without her. It'll be hard. but, that's the mindset we have to keep.
