I'm happy your IC is so helpful. I plan on trying to find one as soon as I'm done with the whole house to apartment move. Tonight I get keys, moving in tomorrow (and slowly this week), garage sale next Saturday, and closing on house sale the week after. Then a bit of down time (except for unpacking) until classes start in July.
Just a note regarding my IC: she was originally my MC. I've mentioned that before, but I don't think that I mentioned that, at first, I thought she was a not-so-good therapist. The first time my wife and I saw her, things went relatively well. The second time, not so well. The third time was horrendous (there's much longer story behind it). After that, I though that maybe I'd made a big mistake.
During the MC counseling, I'd gone to a couple of IC sessions with her as well. I continued on with IC after the MC melt-down because she already knew the marital background (i.e. she was someone to talk to). After having about five IC sessions with her, I realized she knew exactly what she was doing. In fact, she knows nothing about DB, but she essentially takes the same approach.
I've said this before, and I'll say it again, if it weren't for her, I'd still be flailing around with regard to friendship or EA. But look at me now, I'm trying to start a scuffle with the OM. (That's not her fault.)
The point I'm making is that my IC is very good, I just didn't realize that at the start because she was already stirring the hornets nest.
(That's not her fault.)