My hot sassy friend! So glad to hear of the positive updates in your sitch.
Agree that the x is still confused. I can only let him be and continue with my life. Totally agree that the black undies with white berms is totally inexcusable.
Xfil called and asked to meet up. I can sort of guess what the lunch is for.
So if I go MIA on the boards for the next few days, it's because I am busy printing and cutting out V's 'No's and keeping them in my purse.
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
Met with my mum. I have been dim on her after screaming disagreements on x's access to kid.
It pains me to see how much she's deteroriated and yet there's nothing I can do. She refuses to listen to me to see a doctor for her possible dementia and everyone else refuses to talk to her about it because well, ostriches.
And I realise the part that she has contributed to the demise of my M, especially in the months leading to D (and I had allowed her to unknowingly). She is a good woman and a strong mother but the dementia and her own unhappiness in life gradually took over.
As I look into the crystal ball, I forsee rain with a chance of cr@pballs. Right after my flat, I would have to start worrying about what to do with my mum.
On the bright side, at least I would be brooding over someone who loves me.
So many elephants in the room. One bite at a time.
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
This must be the season of ghosts of boyfriends/ dates past. Why is everybody and I mean everybody popping out from the woodwork after bd?
Is the universe trying to send me a message?
Not receiving the message very well. Most were nice. Some were meh.
But I swear none of them were harmed in the making of the drama that is my life. Except for maybe 1 or 2. And even then I did my best to let them down gently.
Creepy.
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
Im just catching up right now. Seems like you've been on edge a bit and I'm sorry. We all know the ups and downs of this process. I think the best way to get past it is to accept the loss for what it is in any way you have to.
No more speculating about husband!
My boss is the only person that knows in my work place. For me, Im not prepared to deal with the pity. Although I know my coworkers will be ultra supportive (many of them came to my wedding). I'm sorry that you do not have that support as well, but you do from all of us here.
What would lift your mood a bit? GAL and realize your " so hot, you'd make a dragon want to retire "
I have dropped quite a bit of the rope. The x occupies very little of my time, unlike in the beginning when I would think of him even when I was busy with work.
I have spent a lot of my life with him and there are inevitably at least a few triggers in a day. I am proud to say that I just feel a pang of wistfulness and what-could-have-beens and then let the memories go.
This is the place that I write down my observations and ruminations and then file them away.
Yes, the support from here is lovely! It really takes someone who have been through what we've been through to show empathy.
I have been doing fun things with kid. So much so that the flat is starting to look unkempt because I am just so tired at the end of the day.
In fact, we just went to a tree-top obstacle course today. I am so proud of kid and myself for making it through the course despite our fear of heights.
The new flat and the remodelling works are keeping me really busy.
Lol about the 'hot' comment. I don't feel so hot nowadays although one of the contractors did try to hit on me. But I thought he was flirting to get my business.
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
Yup, keeping busy helps. I just have to make sure that I am being busy with the correct things.
This week is a week of triggers with the x's birthday and the upcoming meeting with xfil. Plus kid's continued pulling of hair.
Last year, before the D, I had asked to spend his birthday with kid. He wanted to meet us at a certain time but we couldn't make it that early so he called the whole thing off. Guess toilet paper could only meet him at a certain time. On the morning of his birthday, kid called to greet him happy birthday and he promised to see kid later in the day.
This year, I had kid prepare him a gift and card which she passed to him before his birthday. On the day of his birthday, we didn't call him. He was late in picking kid up. Though he did thank me through text for the present. Which he doesn't bother to do last year.
I am just waiting for the other shoe to drop. For them to tell me that he was going to marry the toilet paper. This is so unlike him that the toilet paper must be in his ear again.
This really svcks. I wonder what else it is that he/ they want from me. And I really do hate him and toilet paper for the anguish kid is going through.
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
I have dropped quite a bit of the rope. The x occupies very little of my time, unlike in the beginning when I would think of him even when I was busy with work.
I have spent a lot of my life with him and there are inevitably at least a few triggers in a day. I am proud to say that I just feel a pang of wistfulness and what-could-have-beens and then let the memories go.
This is the place that I write down my observations and ruminations and then file them away.
Yes, the support from here is lovely! It really takes someone who have been through what we've been through to show empathy.
I have been doing fun things with kid. So much so that the flat is starting to look unkempt because I am just so tired at the end of the day.
In fact, we just went to a tree-top obstacle course today. I am so proud of kid and myself for making it through the course despite our fear of heights.
The new flat and the remodelling works are keeping me really busy.
Lol about the 'hot' comment. I don't feel so hot nowadays although one of the contractors did try to hit on me. But I thought he was flirting to get my business.
Everytime I read your posts, I just think what an incredible mom! It's so hard seeing your child not having the father figure you would wish for them to have. But she is 100x blessed having you for a mom.
I love the way you worded, filing away your ruminations...I love posting for this reason as well.
Son and I love to dance to Bruno Mars songs too (dragon retiring)
Hi Grl, just want to check in and say I miss you and I am sorry your kid is stressed. You are doing so much better, more detached and stronger as time goes by. It is good to know that H is not taking up your energy and your life is becoming more and more your own. Good luck with your flat and prayers for your mother, she is lucky to have you by her side at this time of her life.
