sandi2, thank you, that is very helpful. There are things we used to do together that he says I don't want to do anymore. We used to hike and try to catch frogs or turtles (we both love animals and nature). We both had interest in paleontology (him moreso than me), and would go fossil hunting. We both liked to garden. This year our yard is an overgrown mess. The one place i can't "enter" in his world is bars. I dislike them, and don't feel comfortable in the environment. That's his thing, and I'd be totally fine with his spending as much time there as he does, if I didn't worry about the fact he never goes with a DD, and I worry he might drive when he shouldn't. This, money, and the lack of romance are the worst. But yes, I agree that I am the only one who can change, and I need to make my peace with that being all that WILL change. And if it's worth it to make all this effort without his being on board. I don't know if he's in it at all anymore. I feel as though if I try to hug or kiss him, it's uninvited. I hate calling him because I'm bothering him (I feel). Yes, I know it's my interpretation, but these are the things make lead to my unease and avoidance. Again, thank you for your input!
