In the UK - PT 18 'Dark O'Clock'

[Sotto]

Hi Huddy, I think it's more around the - if I keep doing this, she'll do that - perspective. People often say that DBing is more about saving yourself than your M. Ironically, the more we focus on saving ourselves, the more likely we may be to save the M.

I think truly dropping the rope would be not even looking at what she was up to on the iPad - or checking to see what's happening with the account. That stuff is 'attached' behaviour. (Tho I sometimes think it's no bad thing to know where she's at - the checking back on her account probably isn't helpful...IMHO)

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is you seem to be trying to do the right DB things WRT her, which is fine. But I think you are also remaining pretty attached - to what she is doing/not doing and why, and to the outcome of restoring your M.

I think if you can truly release her and accept that she may (or may not) choose to rejoin the M - and that's up to her - that is the best way. I'm not saying give up all hope for the M, but just accept that for now, this is all about you...

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