Thanks for the reply. What you said pertains to me in so many ways. When you say you joined a couple of meetup groups, what exactly do you mean?
'Meetup' is a popular social website that has various groups people can create and join, for just about anything and then people create events. It streamlines the "finding people with similar interests" thing.
Me, WW - Upper 30s BD - Apr 1 2016 EA - Apr 7 2016 (discovered; ongoing for months; did not confront right away) Confronted wife about EA - May 17 Wife sent NC email to OM - July 11