Sorry if repost

[LiM]

I think the official stance would be to let it die on its own. Most A's do.
I definitely would not out the A to those not directly affected (work, family members). I know there are some people that will encourage you to out the A to the A partners spouse if they are M. I didn't in my case and don't know what would have happened differently if I had. I found out my W's A was still going on after 3 months of separation and then filed for D. Doing that got the OM to confess everything to his W and that ended the A. I DID plan on outing the A to OM's W the following week but he did it before I got to it.
In my case, my W has NOTHING to be mad at me about regarding my behavior during the A or separation. I was the grown up in the situation and didn't hurt anyone. I worked on myself. If you decided to out the A to the A partners spouse, you run the risk of creating anger in your WW/WH and that could hinder reconciliation. But so long as the A is going on, there is NO chance of reconciliation. It must die before the M can be restored.
I certainly wouldn't fault anyone for outing the A to the spouse if the A partner is married. In some ways, I wish I had. But I honestly don't know if we would have ended up in the same place that we are now if I had (piecing our M back together).