Great tim!!! she likes porn!!! There you go. She's just like my W in that she's got a mind and arousal triggers and is probably highly sexual. I know you know this but I can tell your feeling like a locksmith who can't crack a lock. I can feel that you guys are about to have a breakthrough but you might need to make some subtle adjustments. I'm not clear on what these are yet but it really seems to be a combination "good listening", "defining myself as my own person while paying attention to and giving priority to W", and just a couple extra LLs to my W per day. Not a lot. I think you guys are on the brink of what's happening to us. I would stay very consistent right now but don't appear needy or anxious and do not reveal the process.

Schnarch says that we each have a fear of revealing ourselves to our spouses. I'm seeing this in her. Last night, combined with an incident in a bar in Dallas leads me to believe that she is desperately trying to tell me that she is a sexual person. Sober, she can squelch it but after a few drinks, it's coming out. The goal will be to get her to "sexually express" without drinks. But why is she finally doing this now? For one, she knows we need to work on this but secondly she is finally seeing me "stick to my guns" and not stop pushing the positive change idea. Despite how irritated she is when I throw "big talks" at her, she sees my a "man in charge". I hate to put my wife in the category of a stereotypical woman, but the crap that makes "bad boys" sexy is pretty universal..."high confidence and and the appearance that you would fight for them". Like I said a long time ago...something has to exist to make the LLs work for you. They have to *want* deposits in *their* bank first.

Find the man....you'll get the girl.

Anywhere is walking distance if you have the time -Steven Wright