Did Not See It

[LiM]

RDS,

Sorry you are here buddy. I'm going to pass some 2x4's your way. I hope you see that it is to help you and not to hurt you.
You're W doesn't care what you do with your ring at this point. She checked out of your M a LONG time ago. I can't imagine she is wearing her ring. This was planned well in advance. She may still love you on some level but she stopped being IN love with you.
I get the impression that she has been very unhappy for a very long time and that you both stopped trying a long time ago. There is a lot of hurt. She has probably felt very alone and unappreciated.
This will not be an easy or quick fix. Things will not be better next week or next month. You need to start thinking long term.
Your situation reminds me a little of my mom and dad. They were married close to 30 years when my mom left my dad. He was caught completely off guard. He was emotionally abusive to the whole family and sometimes physically abusive to the kids. When my mom left, I don't think there was any hope at all of the M being reconciled. But that was because there was no hope in my dad ever being able to change on any significant level. He had always been that way. My mom first sought D advice before I was 1 year old.
I'm not implying that you are anything like my dad, but after 30 years, what changes are you capable of making? You need to take a long, hard, deep look within yourself and find your faults. Be honest with yourself. Whats there and what are you willing to change. I'm certain your W has her faults too but right now is not the time to be concerned with that. Its RDS time right now.
My advice to you would be tool cool your jets on the legal action. In fact, just stop it for now. Next, take ALL your attention off of your W and put it squarely on you. You need to detach, 180 and GAL. RDS needs to become a new person. And awesome, emotionally attractive, caring person. You CAN do that on your own. Eventually, you will have an interaction with your W. Its ok if that doesn't occur for 2 or 3 or 4 months. If you TRULY implement changes in your life, she will be BLOWN away when she next sees you because confidence will be oozing from your pores. When she see's you and the changes you have made, she will be open and receptive to you. It will be obvious. At that point, you will have the opportunity to start dating her.
You need to make these changes in your life for YOU, not for her. If you are not making changes for YOU, it isn't genuine and she will see straight through it.
Detach, 180 and GAL. Do these things for YOU and be genuine about the changes. This is your best shot at getting your W back.