Trump, I love when you swing by with your 2x4. Your posts last night were extremely helpful, and I really appreciate it. I understand that I need to 'stay out of her mess', and let her work this stuff out on her own. Of course I want kids, and it would've been easy to respond like so, and help "convince her" that I'd be a good future H for her... but that's not the point. She knows I wanted kids at some point, that's NOT why she texted me. I'm trying to "mourn the loss" of my wife's corpse, but haven't been able to cry. I think I've got quite a bit of that out already.
Cil - Same to you (great advice), and you have some great looking purple font. really lightens the mood. Its good to hear someone point out that "you'll know the difference" when it comes time to notice her "bullying tactics" and "conflicted decisions" compared to her actually making the deicision to truly want to change and reconcile. I think this goes overlooked a lot in these forums, and I was pretty confused (while it may never actually happen), on what I should be noticing/looking for in these changes.
cbt - sorry about your reconciliation timeline and the problems it caused... I do hope you can work things out, and I can see how reconciling too soon can only lead to these patterns repeating themselves (because nothing has truly changed in the WW, they probably just decided to "give it one more shot" or something... I'm truly sorry and feel for you. Saying that though, with trumpets advice, my wife died, so I won't be reconciling with corpse at all, that's for sure. If I "reconcile", I'm hoping its with someone else that truly wants to make this marriage work to full potential, and to someone who's not dead.
dood - you've provided great advice since I started on these forums. awesome dood. It's quite funny how when we read these stories that other people are going through, they can put us in a place where we don't even understand what's going on. Most of the time "outside looking in" provides a much clearer view of the big picture, but my corpse wife really threw both of us for a loop on this on HAHA.
qt4 - thx for the support. if you knew my stbx, you'd learn 'headscratchers' is just another part of my M, it's like making coffee in the morning, showers, brushing teeth, walking dogs, and headscratchers due to my stbx's manic behavior. hang in the bud
===== Now that I addressed you all individually for some reason (its morning, I'm drinking coffee, and in a writing mood I guess), A quick update...
My wife's corpse texted me this morning and said "Hey Sorry for the text last night. Glad you didn't respond. Would have caused a texting fight. Again, Sorry."
I wanted to respond, "Np, Just so we are clear though, I'm done fighting with you. There will be no more texting fights. Have a good day"... But I think I'll continue with my 72-hour 'dont say a damn thing to her" window... And I might just carry that 72-hour for two periods and wait until after I speak to my L on Wed before I talk to her at all. -- I took PTO from work today and tomorrow, and I'm actually reconsidering, as I know she comes to the MR house a lot during the day while she thinks I'm working. I pulled out of the garage and parked in driveway so she can at least see I'm here before she opens the garage door. She'll probably u-turn, but I'm still considering finding something to do that's not at teh house for a while... hey, maybe I'll go for a long ride on my new motorcycle! haha. she's going to SH1T when she sees this thing parked in her spot in the garage ... oh my.
Its good to hear someone point out that "you'll know the difference" when it comes time to notice her "bullying tactics" and "conflicted decisions" compared to her actually making the deicision to truly want to change and reconcile. I think this goes overlooked a lot in these forums, and I was pretty confused (while it may never actually happen), on what I should be noticing/looking for in these changes.