ALSO NOTE: THIS WAS THE FIRST TIME SHE INITIATED IN 6 YEARS.
Another thing, In the good 'ol days, she DID tell me once that she enjoyed it hard and fast. I guess when I was 45 lbs heavier, I couldn't do it anymore and forgot but now that I'm a lean, mean cycling machine, I can do my energizer bunny on her.
It's just so damn cool that she had a deep, vaginal O within 5 minutes. She seemed almost bummed out that she came so uncontrollably fast...and not for my sake. This was classic "f*cking" defined by PM. I think I'm finally understanding "doing","being done" and "fcking". Bad sex comes when both people want to "give" each other "pleasure" according to what they assume the other one wants. Awesome sex comes when people both "express" their desires in their own language and let the other person in on their journey. It's really baking my noodle to understand this. PM explains how "aggressive" sex, while it seems like a socially unacceptable combination of ideas (after all, that's what molesters are like) is actually a great thing when it's bidirectional with your spouse.
Oh man, I just deleted a sentence that explained how "I like my sex slower, longer and nicer". But I the more I started thinking about last night, I just realized that the "soft" style is a habit, not a real desire. Last night was actually "incredible" for me too. Maybe our problem stems from us both "holding back" in the sack and it got boring and unexpressive. I'm going to be thinking about this a lot now. Wow.
Also, I think I'm going to buy a Liberator this weekend. There's a shop that advertises them. While I have very powerful legs, thighs and back from mountain bike racing, my arms aren't as strong as they should be for these acrobatic moves.
Anywhere is walking distance if you have the time
-Steven Wright
Good point about the "doing", "being done" and "fcking" from PM. I think for a long time I wanted validation that I was a good lover...so I had a whole routine of working upstairs, working downstairs, then doing my best to make sure she had the big O...because I knew I always would.
The whole concept that sex can be "doing", "being done" or "fcking" makes a lot of sense. Depending on the mood and what's happening...it doesn't have to be a giant production. Sometimes it NEEDS to be "fcking" because that's what both people need.
When I got the Liberator...my WAW for really the first time ever told me that she wanted me to take them back because there was NEVER anything wrong with ML...it was great...it's just the frequency wasn't high enough. That was a huge boost to my ego...but I also think she's overlooking the fact that sex needs to grow over time...and the Liberator should (in theory) help with that...
"The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step." – Lao Tzu
Oh gosh, the Liberator is an HD person's dream gift. Check it out.
Dave, maybe it's the pessimist in me, but I'd counsel a little more caution before you go out and drop the bucks on a Liberator. Is this a flash in the pan? Or is it the beginning of a new direction in your marriage?
Hairdog - who thinks his wife would "liberate" him if he bought a Liberator.
I was sort of kidding about "rushing out" to get one today. It's just that I can "feel" that we are on the right track and that I've finally found the correct mix of things to work on in myself. Truthfully, my W would probably feel bewildered right now because "my purchase" of it would seem like whopper-pressure. As a matter of fact, I need to just stay cool and let her make purchases like this. A couple weeks ago, we were at friend's house with other couples and the women were hanging out together. By the end of the evening, it was obvious that they were going to organize an "adult pleasure products" party. Yesterday, a woman neighbor came by and they asked me to leave the kitchen because they had some "secret girl plans" to make. It's obviously for this party. This neighbor has been a tremendous help to us. She is recently divorced from her "first love" and at 42, with no experience, she is now going wild and trying to learn everything she can about sex and technique etc. More important than sharing her discoveries with my W, she is asking my W for advice and "drawing her out". Like I said before, we used to be very kinky before marriage.
Anyway HD, you are right. This would be putting way to much pressure on her now. Some more C sessions, having her read PM, developing a better "sex language" will need to precede this type of deal. I can see that she is really trying now to "mentally" change her wiring about sex.
BTW. Wouldn't it suck to have your W get her libido back and then befriend a vibrator instead of you.
Anywhere is walking distance if you have the time
-Steven Wright
Quote: 5. She goes out and does what I assume all the LDs do...sit around and play cards (dice in this case) and drink wine. Now, here we go.... 6. She comes home a little bit drunk and gives me a hug and offfers her neck to me. ...<snip>...she grabs my hair, pulls my head up to hers and says in a soft, yet aggressive tone "just f*ck me".
Wow, Dave, I guess I'd wonder just WHAT WENT ON at that "card game"!!! There's been only ONE time when W ever "attacked me" like that with anything resembling that level of lust. We had been out at the home of her second cousin, whose husband is a bit of a boor. This was in the days when VCR's were still a very new thing. The husband at one point went out and rented a porn video, which we then watched as a group (men and ladies). It was a VERY graphic video. Anyway, when we went to bed, I turned to kiss W goodnight, and she virtually ATTACKED me - her kiss left NO doubt in my mind what she wanted (and I happily obliged!). Sigh....
