Don't know what to do

[Mono]

I joined an introvert group on facebook but left it when it became a who's-who of trying to blame mental illness for introversion, and so forth, instead of discussion on flourishing with this personality type.

H has spoken often of feeling like I am cold and unemotional. I tend to be very rational, but I don't think I'm cold! He says he feels ignored by me, but I tend to find him very needy at times, and it's draining. I try to meet him half way-saying hello when I get home from work, asking how his day was, trying to think of things we can do together that we'll both like, but it never helps. He's an artist, he often asks me my opinions on his work. I give him compliments and encouragement, but that's not enough. He says after 15 years I should know how to critique a picture, or learn about his craft. I don't have an artistic bone in my body.

He has depression and anxiety-lasting effects of chemotherapy and radiation as a teenager. I work in the mental health field so I am very well versed in mental illness, treatment, and recovery, but he rejects my suggestions, insisting "therapy doesn't work", he's tired of my "psychobabble", etc. On one hand he says he's my cheerleader, but on the other hand he rejects my profession. Ironic that I can work with others on the issues I am writing about but struggle to address my own. Furthermore, I was diagnosed with OCD ten years ago, and he tends to insist that any problem I am having is because of my symptoms, rather than trusting that I know the difference between a symptom and a stressor.
I'm thinking of re-entering therapy myself, to work through my relationship concerns and make this decision, but as someone working in the field, how do I chose from among my colleagues when I know them from the other side of the couch, so to speak? Providers are the worst patients and all that....
So I think I must focus on 180s and GAL. Instead of calling him asking when he's going to be home from the bar, I will resist the urge and let him do his thing. Instead of nagging him to fix XYZ, I'll do it myself.
But as far as meeting people and making friends....that is a challenge. I looked at meetup.com, and didn't find a group I felt brave enough to join. I signed up for a running training program that starts on Saturday, but I'm not sure how to form friendships from these people. I did this program in the winter with a (mutual of ours) friend and found that when he wasn't around, I'd absorb myself with my phone and avoid others, I was so awkward. I am scared that I'll do that again instead of trying to strike up conversations and make friends.
Ugh.