But I thought the point of this site was to 'bust the divorce'. There's plenty of self improvement programs on the Internet.
I think the guys are trying to put it in a nutshell for you and you're reading it as only a self improvement program. If that's all it was, I doubt we would have so many testimonies to being the hardest thing people have had to do.
Honestly, I don't anything that will guarantee stopping her in her tracks. Anything you read on the Internet, or anywhere else, that says their way can.......is lying. She is an individual with free volition. Right now, she may be twisted every which way.....and be as wrong as sin, but the cold fact of life is that there may be nothing to cause her to change her mind & feelings about going through with a divorce. Sixty days is not much time to bust a divorce, however, I think it is possible...........if the H plays his cards right......and even of he does, there are no promises in how it will turn out. If you are looking for guarantees, you probably need to just pass us by and frantically search for a witch doctor.
MWD says something in her DR book that I believe applies in every situation. She says she may not be able to tell you what to do to save your M, but she can tell you what not to do! It takes time to get all this information. You are a mess, trying to just process what she told the police........then before you had time to blink.....wham! Even if we had the magic formula, you are so panicked you would screw it up. So.....what should a person do when faced with this news?
Talk to your lawyer to see what your next step should be. Ask him how you can protect your property and finances. Have you taken your money and placed in a private/separate account? What can you do to get every right that fathers should have? Make a list of questions to ask the lawyer.
Do not discuss anything with your W, her family, or mutual friends. Do not trust your W. I would even consider having a third party (who your W knows) to intervene in picking up and delivering the children on your days........at least while you are so upset. My advice is no contact with her, until you have time to fully discuss your options with your lawyer, and to follow through with his advice about finances, etc. You don't need to communicate with her until you calm down. It is just too risky. It may even be another trap.
If you have a wise and trusted person you can share your burden with, so you can feel some emotional relief at the moment........perhaps you can turn to her/him to talk you down from the ledge.
None of us are nonchallent about what you are experiencing, and don't want to appear as though we are. The first thing you must do is calm your emotions in a smart way......and don't make some stupid move you'll regret later. I hope tonight you won't try to "do" anything to save or destroy your MR. Focus on taking care of you, and just getting through tonight.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
