G - it's ok to not work on yourself. To accept yourself the way you are. To appreciate all the good about you and to just love yourself.
It reminds me of a time when Ryan was young. It was a couple of years after his debilitating illness and resultant brain damage. I had done everything humanly possible to rehabilitate him. I worked so hard to give him everympssible advantage and slowly I was learning to accept what I couldn't change. My Mom was telling me one day that she had her church praying for him every week in church. To make him better. And I know that's not a bad thing but it just struck me then that I didn't want it. I didn't want her calling me every week and asking me how he was doing and expecting me to say he had woken up "normal". I asked her just to love him. Just to accept him. Just as I had gradually come to accept. Never what I had fought for but just as he was. Perfectly imperfect. And so it is. I know my Mom loved him no matter what but I just had to say "enough". We just love.
I think you are saying "Enough" too. Enough tears and worry and stress and striving. Just Love yourself. You are great the way you are (I know from first hand experience). Just let life happen and do your own thing.
