My wife walked out 2

[sandi2]

I so badly want to have a sit down with her and go over everything,

Everyone here understands that urge to sit and talk with her. They will also tell you it does no good, and could make matters worse. Sometimes the H experiences some temporary emotional relief by having the talk......but it is very shortly lived. You must learn to communicate through your actions. May be tough to learn, but pretend she is deaf and can only see what you do......not what you write or say.

She constantly says to me she'd walk through hell for our child, but is actually willing to throw away half of his life without even trying to work on anything.

Exactly! In her mindset, she loves them just as she always has and have their well-being first. She does not see the truth about herself b/c her selfishness has blinded her thinking process. It's some of that fogginess you mentioned. The way a WW thinks, is so out of kelter from what was the norm.

I noticed we weren't friends on Instagram a few days ago, and then today we weren't on Facebook. I asked about FB, and she said we are still friend but she's just stopped doing social media so she isn't posting anything anyway.

You absolutely must refrain from asking her why she has unfriended you, or whatever the case. She sees this as petty and weak. You don't have to have her posting to you. You don't have to see her FB. You are too busy with your life to sit around and follow her around on social media. Right?? At least, that should be your new attitude.

That used to make her SO happy, and it wasn't that long ago!

She's a different gal now! She is no longer the girl you married.

She said she was "so sorry" the other day, but that didn't hurt her much.

Remember what I just said about her not listening to your words and that she'll only notice your actions? Well, the same applies the other way around. Pay no attention to what she says. Her saying she's sorry meant nothing. It's when her behavior/actions line up with her words that you can start believing her again. And, btw, don't press her to say certain things.....b/c it is meaningless.

I don't understand why she just doesn't file for D now, or why she doesn't say she wants to go forward with a plan. She wants to work together, turn in a plan we agree on and the like, but hasn't said word one about when.

When a WW doesn't file immediately for a D, then just mark it down that she's getting her ducks in order by learning where she will benefit the most....or she feels comfortable knowing you are her backup plan and is not worried holding you at arms length.

If we ever get to talk it out in MC, I know I don't want to know anything about the A. It's pure evil and the more I know the less I would be able to forgive. I just want to hear specifics about what affected her so much, and she has refused to ever say anything.

Just bear in mind that MC will absolutely do no good in reconciling the M, until your W is willing to do whatever it takes to save the MR. In most cases, that's a long way off, b/c she has to go through a process.

I feel like when we finally get to the end, I want to give her a book like DR

She will not be receptive to any material, or advice, from you about how she decides to proceed in her life. She will resent you trying to "tell" her what she needs to do by giving her books to read. Sounds cold, but I am nothing compared to your WW's mindset at the moment.

In addition, I joined a Divorce Support Group off of Meetup. Even if it doesn't solve anything, it'll be nice to get some stuff off my chest among a sympathetic crowd and hear how other people are dealing with things.

Support is good. Just remember that more sources of advice you have, the more confused you may become. I hope you will stick with the DB advice.