Thank you. You don't know how much it means to me when somebody believes me when I tell my story - instead of automatically assuming that the woman is not exaggerating.
Im worried that I was misunderstood. I am not automatically believing her story. In fact, I agree that it is very likely that she IS exaggerating.
My point was more that you are seeing the situation and judging it one way: "I raised my voice a little out of panic and frustration with myself. I wanted to talk to her while she was in the bathroom so I stood in the doorway. I had no intention of hurting her, my children, or myself."
She could very well have felt threatened and trapped. Even if you didnt intend it, it's something that she could have been feeling. And if she was, telling her that it's ridiculous to feel that way is not going to do you any favors. Im not saying that you need to AGREE with her, but saying something is "unbelievable" is completely invalidating.
If she says "I felt threatened and scared", you could respond: "I wasnt being threatening. There was nothing to be scared of." -or- "Looking back, I can see how I may have come across as threatening. Know that it was not my intention."
Do you see the difference? Im not saying the second one is a *perfect* response, but I think you can imagine the difference.
In any case, the point isnt necessarily about THIS issue in particular. I wonder about your history of communication with her. When she says how she is feeling, how do you handle it?
