It sure does resonate! In my case, the last seven years of my marriage were a stressful hell. My W became more and more emotionally abusive...nothing I did was right. I ran my butt off trying to be a "better" husband, to change the things she complained about. I was going to save this marriage...but couldn't. As many of us know, once they are in another R nothing you do seems to matter anymore. DBing saved me, not my marriage. I left the marriage feeling that I could survive without it. In my next relationship I was determined not to let the same thing happen. So I did everything for her...she had a need, I was there! No one was going to accuse me of being neglectful again! Most of the time I wanted to be but there were times where I began to feel taken for granted and used...but I put no limits on my time or what I would do. Hey, she needed me! I ended up burning out and just couldn't do it anymore. She had difficult life situations and they were just ongoing and after 1.5 years I realized this was not just "situations" this was going to be my life. I addressed the issues with her but she couldn't seem to change so I ended it. My point is that in any new relationship I need to get a handle on this need to please...get a proper balance. The wounds from my marriage lived on in my next relationship. I was scared I'd fail and by not setting limits (and demanding respect for my time etc) I set up the failure. But we all live and learn...hopefully smile Right now, my life is good. I spend a great deal of time doing my photography, I have a great church life, enough friends and family, a job and don't actually know whether I even want to give a relationship another go. Who knows, time will tell.
Thanks for sharing your journey...it's good to hear from you smile

Divorced February 27, 2012.

"Only by love is love awakened".~ Ellen G White