So my mood took an unexpected turn earlier today and it was a simple little thing. It's been a long time so I'm not 100% sure but I'm fairly certain someone was actually flirting with me on my journey home from work.
Now I would never act upon it and I'm committed to saving my MR but it's nice to have my ego boosted from time to time.
So my mood took an unexpected turn earlier today and it was a simple little thing. It's been a long time so I'm not 100% sure but I'm fairly certain someone was actually flirting with me on my journey home from work.
Now I would never act upon it and I'm committed to saving my MR but it's nice to have my ego boosted from time to time.
Yep, that's part of the process... After b-drop was the first time I thought of another girl that way in 8 years... But hold on cowboy, you don't want to go down that slippery slope, and ego salve isn't what you need, you need confidence... But with that said, yes there is a world where you can find another to love, but that's not where you need to be right now...
M - 9 1/2 years 5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA 10/31/16 - We sold house 01/10/18 - D Finalized
Like I said I'm absolutely not even entertaining the idea of someone else right now. My focus is purely on saving my marriage and reuniting my family under 1 roof.
It is difficult because my W is so adamant it's over and that all love for me is gone but I need to remember that it's only been 7 weeks since BD and there is a long road ahead.
Like I said I'm absolutely not even entertaining the idea of someone else right now. My focus is purely on saving my marriage and reuniting my family under 1 roof.
It is difficult because my W is so adamant it's over and that all love for me is gone but I need to remember that it's only been 7 weeks since BD and there is a long road ahead.
KyleR,
I recommend that your focus be on you, making yourself happy, becoming the man that you should be, and healing from the pain you are experiencing. This is your best hope for an opportunity for your W to see changes and perhaps be interested. I say this, as I see many LBS focused on the WAS and MR and this is where the behaviors that drive them further away happen. It takes 2 for a MR. It only takes one, to become a better person and better potential partner in a MR Go become the person only a fool would leave.
I also wanted to commend you for posting and lending support on another thread. This can be therapeutic and helpful to you as well as others.
Be well today my friend.
Me 46 Former W 46 D19 D7 BD Feb 2016 WAW moves out 4/16/16 D final 6/1/2017
It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
It is difficult because my W is so adamant it's over and that all love for me is gone
32. Do not believe anything they say and 50% of what they do. Your spouse will speak in absolute negatives because he/she is hurting and scared.
Keep your chin up.
darknes has entered the room, and unfortunately, he's right. At the time, the hurtful things my WW was saying to me were devastating to hear. Even after I learned rule #32, it' still hard to overcome the words that you know she doesn't mean.
Looking back though, right now I think of some of the things that came out of her mouth, and I can't help but laugh at how ridiculous she was being. It's thoughtless lashing out, there is no logic or meaning behind what she is saying, just keep that in the back (or front) of your mind at all times.
ps, regrettably, this is true for the "good" things she may say as well. My W told me she wasn't going to file, the day before she retained and started the process. so it's a 2-way street.
At the time, the hurtful things my WW was saying to me were devastating to hear.
The only way any of it makes sense to the WAS is if the LBS is the "bad guy". So they will say anything to anyone to convince themselves that they are doing the right thing. So, she will be mean, angry, vindictive, cold, etc to prove to herself that its YOU who is the problem.
So, yes, it [censored]. And it hurts. But theres not really much that you can do about it. Just remember that it isnt about you...it's about her.
So they will say anything to anyone to convince themselves that they are doing the right thing. So, she will be mean, angry, vindictive, cold, etc to prove to herself that its YOU who is the problem.
This doesn't only apply to her support system, but also directly at you. If you fight back, or defend yourself against these attacks, you're only further re-enforcing her ideas that your the mean, vindictive, controlling, cold man that she has set you out to be. I made this mistake several times. It's hard, but the right thing to do is NOT get lured in by her bait.
Thankfully to date she hadn't said anything directly to me that I could reach too. we've had few conversations about out R and when we have all she's said is she doesn't want it and doesn't want to fight.
All the messages about not loving me anymore and not caring if I moved on has been said to mutual friends.
Thankfully to date she hadn't said anything directly to me that I could reach too. we've had few conversations about out R and when we have all she's said is she doesn't want it and doesn't want to fight.
All the messages about not loving me anymore and not caring if I moved on has been said to mutual friends.
