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only thing is he said he loves OW so much and cant hurt her feelings or whatever.



If he loves OW so much than why is he being intimate with you behind her back? Are you sure he is not just having his cake and eating it too?

BnB, I think the most important thing in all of these is how being intimate with your H is making YOU feel? We don't know for sure if it will bring him back to you but most importantly YOU must be OK with it. The impact on you should be minimal. YOU should be able to keep your PMA up when he is not with you and at the same time you have to make sure you don't get your hopes too high up when he is with you. Its not an easy task. At the end of the day, do what is BEST FOR YOU because you deserve it or it is what you want but don't do it if you only see it as a means of getting him back or you may be setting yourself up for a disappointment.

On the other hand since you mentioned that his LL is the physical, it may be the only way to stay connected at this particularly difficult time. Only YOU would know based on your personal knowledge of H and your sitch whether this is the right thing to do.

All the best and hugs to you.
LH