I hope this means you are posting again. I missed you on these forums. I like this medium because it allows me to read and absorb and take a little time with my responses.
I have lots to catch up on. But you know I have a major girl crush on you and I love any chance to engage and reflect upon your opinions and thoughts.
Anyway, I know you as a warm, funny, lively and eccentric person and your post reminded me of a movie I really think you would enjoy (if you have not seen it allready).
It's called Human Nature. It's a charlie Kaufman film and absolutely hysterical. The protagonist is this very passionate, soulful, and sexual woman played by Patricia Arquette. She longs for love and approval but has this condition which causes her to grow excessive hair all over her body...in a very animalistic/primal way. She ends up settling for and constantly trying to please this uptight guy, played by Tim Robbins who has severe mommy issues and his life long mission is to teach mice proper table manners. (Funniest line is she take him hiking and he's afraid of ticks) the ending is pretty funny and outrageous and harshly realistic too regarding who all the men actually end up going for!! I highly recommend it. I think we share similar senses of humor and this kind of reminds me of both of our past relationships. (For the record I do not have a body hair issues)
See, you never have to worry about intellectual conversation with me! : )
But what i really wanted to say is that, I think it's so important not to allow the feelings or beliefs of others to censor what we do or what we say. Because there is so much that our " human failings " offer... Respectful Debate, reflection, insight, personal growth. And we should never give that type of power to someone else.
I am always drawn to people that have the courage to say and do what they think and want to, regardless of how others will take it. I trust that honesty more then politeness or political correctness. You are very open about your feelings and zues about his opinions.
I actually wish I had the courage to be that way more often and I think its something I have to work on... The not caring if I am liked. I actually find it harder to be like that with other females then With men.
Regarding zues... I could be wrong, but on these forums he reminds me of an old track coach. Someone that calls you out when he sees that your holding back during a race, but always supportive once the race is finished.
My lovely JujuB,
I not really sure I am back or posting again. I can't not post to Zues when he drops by, But kinda wishing I hadn't. It feels like a pandora's box I can't close again. When will I ever learn to keep my mouth shut!
As for Charlie Kauhman I love his work, so I will see if I can find Human Nature and download it.
As for your comments about not letting other's influence me from not sharing myself. Well I don't really feel like I live in a world that is ready to here my very dogmatic emotive opinions. I would never think that anybody was entitled to them, or woiuld want them.
This is a long term battle, I find it incrediably hard to hold my ground when I feel or see myself as being inferior to someone else's skill, knowledge and ability to articulate themselves. This is something I have been working on for the last six months and I am still finding that I don't have the skills to hold my own.
I really struggle with people who are equally dogmatic, opinionated and passionate about their positions. I have come to find that my sense of self and esteem and worth gets tied up in their committment to their own position. It is easier for me to conceed or not say anything at all.
Most of this is my own arrogance and ego. Knowing I am right. (cheeky thinking, but to be honest true in some cases).
The other issue that I struggle with is people's readiness to see the barriers that are causing them pain and keeping them suck. Little Miss Fix-it and Little Miss Bossy want to take charge and show them the way. Again arrogance and ego. All Mine!
The other thing I don't manage very well and is bad habit I have is the comparison game I play. If I don't think I'm smart enough, pretty enough, funny enough, rich enough, sane enough, generally enough I won't participate. I have felt like that alot on the board. I surprise myself everyday that I ever posted on this board in the first place.
So between taking things too personally, being too emotional, being too opinionated and too lacking in self esteem. I do wonder why I ever pop my head up out of my shell.
You know how I feel about you JujuB. I think you are remarkable! And I have thoroughly enjoyed our interactions and time together.
You are doing so well in you own situation, you have made amazing shift, and you have done so because you are constantly working on yourself and growing. Become more authentic my sweet JujuB, don't change because you are lovely just as you are!
